Love,

Some people just don’t know when to stop and own up to their bullshit. Own up to it and apologize while you still can. Remember, the more lies you tell, the deeper your hole is. When you fall in, will you be able to crawl out? Think about it.

Music playing and the night is quiet. You already know what I’m about to say… Late night thoughts…..

Went from the girl who loved and was too kind, to the girl with no feelings. :/ 

It’s been awhile since I had the time to think and collect myself. I had the weekend off from work and spent some time with the roommate. We just met 7 months ago but it feels like we’ve known each other for so long. I irritate her, she irritates me but yet we’re still able to be calm and mature about things. She reminds me of my Bestfriend Nana back at home. She might not be as bitchy like my baby and all but they do have one thing in common. They tell me the truth instead of telling me what I like to hear. I eventually take that and grow from it.

But, enough about that. We went to dinner and we had a heart to heart. I asked her how come she never asked me about my tattoos and she had a really good answer. She said, “everyone has their own reasons. Some might be personal, some might not have any meaning at all. I don’t bother unless they want to tell me because not everyone wants to share. It’s complicated sometimes.” I was shocked because most people I run into would ask me immediately. As we kept talking I told her about the tattoo across my chest.

After our talk I now know why I did’t want to remove it. It made me who I am today and made me realize many things in life. I now know who stood by me and who didn’t. It brings back ugly memories but it also brings good ones whenever I actually take the time to look at it. Most of the time I don’t even notice it. It taught me that I can’t change a person no matter how hard I try, how to love, how to forgive, how strong I am, and most importantly who I am. I let myself go and I’m glad I found my way back. Now, I’m left with a reminder across my chest. Maybe one day things might change but this how I feel about it now. No one can understand it but me and that’s okay with me.

Everything happens for a reason.

Omg, it seems like this quarter is going to be a lot of work for me. *sigh hopefully everything goes well.

I don’t care what people has to say about me. I’m going to do what the fuck I want. At least when I die I can fucken say I lived my life the way I wanted to. Can you say that? 

So fucken irritated right now. I swear, I fucken hate waiting on motherfuckers. They always be like “ehh…no…i don’t know. I don’t want to risk it..” Alright, while you fucken debating, I’m going to work towards it. Don’t blame me for fucken denying ya when I get my shit together. Fuckers always taking a lifetime to think and do shit for me. 

Why do you need to stalk all my social network? Seriously, you love me that much? You’re already stalking my blog. Move the fuck on. It’s creepy.

Lately, I’ve been having all these dreams that connects to one another. Before I sleep, I get this rush of emotions come over me. I’m not sure why this is happening but it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. :/

Here goes another moment where I do so much thinking that when I try to type it out, I don’t even know what I want to say. I find it so hard to explain and describe my feelings and thoughts. When I’m not in front of the computer screen I know exactly what to write about so I can get it off my chest but once I get the time to myself, I’m not even sure what I thought of. When this happens, I turn to my music and just lay there as my thoughts take over. Now I’m going to go listen to music….

3 more months and I will be able to see my fat boy. I miss him so much. It sucks to be playing with him over facetime but that’s better than nothing. I can’t wait to see my grandma and visit my grandpa. It’s been way too long. It gets lonely without them but I guess this is what happens when I choose to chase my dreams. I hope that all will turn out good at the end. 

I can’t wait until I get everything situated. As much as I’m trying to enjoy being a college student, I’m ready to graduate and start working. When that happens, I’m going to buy myself a dog. Over the years my love for dogs just keeps growing. Seeing everyone with their best friend makes me want one even more. I can’t wait! My future best friend, I’m coming for you!

Lately I’ve been feeling great and just like I’m on top of the world. Today, I couldn’t stop thinking about my family. Everything reminds me of them and there’s just so many places I want to take them. I can’t wait to see everyone again. I miss them so much. 

Damnnn! You like me that much? LOL